Posts filed under: ‘Uncategorized‘




Photo Post

This Paxil is kicking my ass.  I am dizzy all the time, I have a headache that I can’t get rid of, and I just generally feel crappy.  Work is really going to suck tonight.

I wish that I had something witty and insightful to write about tonight but I am too sick to think of anything, so I am going to leave you with a picture of me and my son at the beach.

Isn’t he adorable?  At least you got your cute factor, if nothing else.  I will try to write an actual post tomorrow.

Advertisements

Add a comment August 6, 2011

Judging Other Bloggers and Why You Should Be Nice To Servers

I said in my very first blog post that I did not want you to judge me on my blog, twitter and facebook.  What I did not say was that you could not take what I write and judge me on another blog, facebook, twitter, whatever.  I read a woman’s entire blog last night and this morning and am still so outraged that I feel the need to come to my own blog and judge her (anonymously, I will not name her or her blog).  If that makes me a hypocrite, then so be it.  This is my blog, and if you don’t like what you are reading, feel free to click that little x in the corner of your screen.

In this woman’s blog, which is only 7 months old and consists of maybe fifty posts, three of them are solely dedicated to being mean to servers.  She talks about how she watched her dad be mean to servers growing up and that he points out every single thing that the server does wrong so that he or she can “improve themself”.  In another post she talks about how, maybe if she threatened to call their mothers every time they mess up, servers would do their jobs better.  That pisses me off so badly.

If you want to judge how nice a person is, don’t judge them on the way they treat the person at the table with them.  Judge them on the way they treat their waitress.  I am a waitress.  I have been a waitress for about 2 years all together, and I love my job.  I love working with people, I love serving food, I love all of it.  There are nights that I hate my job, of course, but generally, I love my job.  The only part of my job that I don’t like if the customers who are mean to you when something goes wrong.

I am not perfect.  Sometimes, I forget to put an order in on time, or run a salad before the food is ready.  There are always a million things going on at once, and every single thing needs to get done.  I am sorry that I cannot drop everything to get you a new bottle of ketchup the second that you ask, but I promise to get it to you within two minutes.  A lot of things that go wrong are my fault, but a lot of things that go wrong are not my fault at all, but the kitchen.  People never see the kitchen, so they blame everything on the person that they do see.

What bothers me most is that most of the people who judge me on my waitressing skills have never actually waited tables themselves.  If you have never done my job, how can you judge me?  You don’t know what I go through on a nightly basis.  Ok, rant over.  If I still have any readers, do me a favor and tip your waitress well the next time you go out to eat.  You don’t know what she is going through.

Add a comment August 4, 2011

I Was Wrong

Paxil is NOT a miracle drug.  Paxil is going to be the death of me. 

When my doctor told me yesterday that she wanted me to start my Paxil today, I was excited.  She talked this medication up so much.  It was going to take away my depression, it was going to stop my panic attacks, it was going to take away my headaches and it was going to help me gain weight.  She mentioned that there were some side effects but said that they shouldn’t be too bad.  She also said that it would take between two and six weeks for me to see any real results.

That’s all well and good.  Unfortunately, it took about an hour for the first side effects to kick in, and they are kicking my ass.  I have been laid up in bed for most of the day, dizzy, nauseaous, exhausted, the whole nine yards.  I feel completely awful.  I hope that these side effects don’t last for too long, or that I get used to them or something.  I think I am going to start taking my medication right before I go to bed so that I can sleep through the worst of the side effects.

This is a lame, complainy post and it is way too short, but I am so tired and can barely see the screen so that’s all I have for today.  Screw you Paxil.

Add a comment August 3, 2011

I am Officially Nuts.

On the night of my Senior Prom, Kyle May, who I had several classes with, was on Model UN with and who was dating one of my best friends, told me that I was bipolar.  I had forgotten to wear the corsage my parents got me to dinner and I started freaking out and balling because I was afraid that they would find out and be upset.  After dinner, I turned around, went back to the house and got it, and was completely blissful by the time that I made it to the Prom.

In the five years since then, there have been several other people to accuse me of being mentally ill, ranging from sorority sisters to my exhusband.  Even my parents have accused me of it in the past.  After the birth of my son, the few weeks of postpartum depression made it even more evident.

I went to the doctor today for a check-up and to get a refill of Maxalt for my migraines and I got to talking with my doctor.  I told her that I haven’t been sleeping well, I am having panic attacks when it gets too busy at work, and I have periods when I am upset for no reason, and even though I realize that I am upset for no reason, I cannot seem to snap myself  out of it.  She suggested that I try Paxil for depression and anxiety.  She warned that side effects of Paxil included weight gain (which I have been trying to do for years anyways) and that if I do have maci depressive disorder (which she thinks that I might) there is a possibility that it could make it worse.  I am supposed to monitor my behavior and go back in four weeks for another check-up.

Let me clarify that my headline is not making fun of mentally ill people.  I understand how helpless you can feel when you can’t snap out of whatever is wrong with you.  People who have never felt this way can never understand.  I am lucky to have found a wonderful blogger who isn’t ashamed to talk about her mental illnesses on her blog, and she is an inspiration to me.  I hope that I can find the strength to blog about my journey also.

Add a comment August 2, 2011

My Goal for the Month of August…

is to be furiously happy.  I never heard the term furiously happy until I watched this youtube video of a speech by blogger Jenny Lawson, over at TheBloggess.com (which is another blog you need to check out, by the way!)

http://ahref=

I am not a “furiously happy” person.  I allow myself to get in bad moods and then I am sullen and irritating.  My bad moods can completely ruin things that I was looking forward to.  On my last day of vacation, we went down to the beach, and for no apparent reason, I was in a really bad mood.  Instead of enjoying the beach like I had been, I was annoyed at the sand and the water and my son and just did not enjoy myself.  I realized that I was ruining my last day at the beach, but no matter what I did, I could not snap myself out of it. 

The other part of being furiously happy is doing stuff that makes you happy, regardless of what other people think.  I am very self concious and care what complete strangers think about me.  I wish that I didn’t (my blog would be a lot more interesting if I didn’t.)  Jenny said that she did a lot of crazy and potentially illegal things (like jumping in a fountain with a big do not swim sign) because it made her happy and she did not care what other people (like the police) thought.  I wish that I could be more like that.

That being said, for the month of August, my goal is to be furiously happy.  Every morning I am going to wake up and remind myself that, no matter what happens that day, I am going to make an effort to be furiously happy.  I am going to do things that I would normally be embarrased to do.  I am going to make an effort to actually feel happy instead of sullen.  It’s going to be hard, but I am going to try my hardest.

Add a comment August 1, 2011

ABCs of Corie

A – Age: 23

B – Bed size: Twin

C – Chore you hate: All of them? 

D – Dad’s name: Scott

E – Essential start your day item: Caffeine

F – Favorite color: Pink

G – Gold or Silver: White Gold 

H – Height: 5’3”

I – Instruments you play(ed): Flute, a long time ago, and not very well

J – Job title: Waitress

K – Kids: One, 16 months old 

L – Living arrangements: Living with my parents

M – Mom’s name: Gena

N – Nicknames:  None, really.  Justin calls me RiRi, lol 

O – Overnight hospital stay other than births: Once when I was really little. 

P – Pet Peeve: People who don’t tip 

Q- Quitting time:  11pm

R – Right or left handed: Right

S – Siblings: 1 brother-20 years old

T – Time you wake up: between 73o and 930 

U- Underwear: Yes, lol 

V – Vegetable you dislike: Brussel Sprouts

W – Ways you run late: Skype, lol 

X – X-rays you’ve had: Teeth

Y – Yummy food you make: Lasagna, Meatloaf, etc

Z – Zoo favorite: Monkeys

Add a comment July 31, 2011

Body Worries

This is a picture of me when I went to the beach by myself.  I know that I look grumpy, but really, the sun was in my eyes and I just couldn’t get a good picture with my phone.

Earlier this morning, I read a post by Sally, one of my favorite bloggers at ExploitsOfAMilitaryMama.com (check her out, I am serious!)  She gave birth to her second child a week ago today and she posted a picture of herself one week postpartum.  I cannot imagine her bravery.  I am not ashamed of my body, but I am not particularly proud of it after having my son either.

I didn’t realize that I was worried about my body until I put on my bikini for the first time since having my son.  I lost all of the baby weight and then some, which most women would be thrilled about, but I cannot stand.  I went from a size three (perfect for my height) to a size zero, which not only makes me look sickly, but is impossible to find anywhere.  I went down a cup size and completely lost any semblance of an ass I might have had.  I have been trying to gain weight for over a year now and it just isn’t working.  I have scars and stretch marks and a tiny pooch that I can’t get rid of, no matter what I try.

Add a comment July 30, 2011

Annoyance and Mommy Guilt

When my parents said that we were all going on a camping trip to the beach, my first thought was hell yes, I haven’t been to the beach in years, I am so excited.  My second thought kind of cringed at the thought of taking my 16 month old to the beach as a single mommy. 

I love my son, and generally do not resent the fact that I am a single mommy (except at 1am when he hasn’t gone to sleep yet and I just got home from a twelve hour shift at work, but that isn’t often.)  However, all I could think about when it came to taking my son to the beach was how it was not fair that I had to watch him and not get to go out and do stuff by myself while his father could go to the beach every weekend alone if he wanted to.  I am very fortunate that my parents are here to help watch him, but it still didn’t seem fair.

This morning, we were at the beach for about half an hour before my son decided that he had had enough and wanted to come home.  I had barely got to play in the water and hadn’t gotten to lay out at all.  He didn’t like the water and nly started to like the sand at the very end.  He was tired and crabby and just wanted to come home and take a nap.  I don’t blame him, but I wanted to stay out.  When my parents said that they were going to drive around Myrtle Beach and would take the baby with them so I could go to the beach alone, I was so excited.

Cue Mommy Guilt.

I got to the beach and found a spot to lay down.  Looking around, I saw a daddy who was probably 30 years old (if that) with his 2 or so year old daughter.  He had dug a gigantic hole in the sand and was filling it with water for her to play in.  One by one, other kids that I am sure he didn’t know came and jumped in the hole and started playing and he just laughed and played with all of them.  I turned to his wife who was just a few feet from me and told her that she was lucky, because he was a good daddy.  Then I started to feel guilty.

Rather than enjoy my son this morning at the beach and play with him and let him get used to the sand and the water on his own time, I resented the fact that I couldn’t do what I wanted to do.  I wish I could go back and tell him that it is ok, and mommy knows that the sand hurts your feet and that the water is too fast and that it is a scary place, but that I will hold your hand and we can explore this place together.  I am just glad that I realized this on the first day of our vacation and not the last.  Hopefully tomorrow we can go back to the beach and mommy can have some time to play with him.

Add a comment July 29, 2011

Not Your Average Mommy Blogger

I am a mommy. I am a blogger. Does that make me a mommy blogger?

Technically, it probably does. I fully intend to blog about my child at some point in time, but he is probably not what my blog will focus on. I want my blog to focus on my awesome new life during and after my divorce.

I don’t really think that I want to be considered a “Mommy Blogger” because I don’t feel like one. I read the blogs of a couple of different mommy bloggers and I don’t feel anything like either of them. Probably because they are crunchy mamas and I am a completely anti-crunchy mama.

Let me explain. I had never heard the term “crunchy mama” until I started reading different blogs. From my understanding, a crunchy mama is one who cloth diapers (because disposable diapers are killing our pelicans, or something like that) and breastfeeds until the child is two and only feeds organic, homemade baby food, etc. I am completely the opposite. I have used disposable diapers since the day he was born. I barely have time to wash our clothes, let alone diapers every day. I breastfed for 3 weeks until I got two abscesses and the doctor told me that I couldn’t breastfeed anymore. I think that if there was something in the Gerber baby food that was going to hurt my child, they would have found it a long time ago.

I don’t really have a problem with crunchy mamas, as long as they mind their own business and don’t try to shove their beliefs down my throat. I think that on your own blog, you should be able to write about anything that you are passionate about and if you are passionate about cloth diapering or breastfeeding, then by all means, go for it. Just don’t come on my blog (or twitter or facebook) and tell me that I am doing something wrong and I am killing our environment and ruining my child because I do things differently. I don’t judge you on your sites, you don’t judge me on mine, capiece?

Add a comment July 28, 2011

Pages

Categories

Links

Meta

Calendar

December 2017
S M T W T F S
« Aug    
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  

Posts by Month

Posts by Category